ohhh honey i know where you are. i have a very similiar story. i dont have anything like you. but i am thankful. bcos even while its been devestating and ive gone thru hurt, depression, anger, frunstration at why God didnt seem to respond. I have become thankful...in the midst of all of it.. i found myself. and who I was born to be. maybe for u it doesnt look like it. but just maybe you will find out good things can come from the ashes... i will pray for you.please pray for me 2. your not alone .